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The Matrix Reloaded
: Desperately Seeking Climax

  Crescent Blues Movie Views


I needed a break from a deadline and parceled out a couple hours to treat myself to a movie.

Okay, I enjoyed the first Matrix. It didn't totally grab me, but it was interesting. Watched it again so I could refresh my mind. It helped me get all the references to it they put into this second one, since I forgot most of the first. Eye candy is like that.

If you're into FX, you'll enjoy The Matrix Reloaded. Any monologues (there were several, unfortunately) lasting more than 20 seconds screamed to be tuned out, and I kept trying to find the fast forward on my seat arm. It's like a porn film; the "story" exists to get you from one encounter to the next.

Book: p n elrod, legend of myhr
The "okay" stuff: Reeves' big first fight -- only it went on WAY too long and you could easily tell when they cut in with the CGI figures. That's all right; I had the same issue with Spiderman. And why, if Neo can fly his way out of trouble did he hang there so long? It wasn't like he had to draw Smith's attention away from something else the good guys were doing. It was a fight just to have a fight. That's just dumb writing.

The One Good Laugh: the "One Adam-12" audio insert.

Good stuff: Fishbourne's fight scenes. He always looks cool.

Good stuff: Anything with Elrond in it as Smith (Hugo Weaving). I can listen to his voice and delivery all day long. Not nearly enough of him in it. Should have given the boring dialogue to him. He'd make it work. Come to think of it, delete Reeves and Moss and all the rest completely and just have Elrond and Morpheous reading phone books in between kung fu CGI-enhanced fights. Much better movie!

Bad stuff: the outstandingly BORING crap at the end with Reeves and Colonel Sanders. By that point I didn't care and was impatiently checking my watch to see how much longer the torture would go on. (Besides, they already did that scene on Doctor Who in their "Keys to Time" story arc and they did it much better.)

REALLY bad stuff: the fu with the "French" guy and his wife. Left me going "Huh? What was the point of all that?" Oh great, weird looking people for fan boys to imitate at conventions, an utterly pointless scene. Pretty scenery. Spent more time looking at it than paying attention to the "story." That's a bad thing for film makers when that happens. (Yow, check out the table centerpiece! Nice linens! Where can I get that silver? Keep in mind I am not the sort to go in for that kind of stuff. This "movie" drove me to it.)

And finally...

Absolutely

Positively

NO doubt...

THE      
  WORST    
    ENDING  
      EVER!!!!!!!!!!

And that's not in "Gosh I gotta see what they do next now!"

That's in "I feel cheated, bummed, flim-flammed, you WASTED my FREAKING TIME and I WANT MY DAMN MONEY BACK!!!!" kind of ending.

Even if it's like The Lord of the Rings films, and sequels are on the way, there is still some taste of conclusion or wrap up going for each and you feel like something's been accomplished. The Wachowski Brothers must have hit the delete key when it came to "Make sure the audience is satisfied when they leave and not ready to murder us instead."

I'll say again as I do at writing panels, story-telling is like sex -- if there's no satisfying climax...

Well, you take it from there.

So if you've not yet seen it, do yourself a favor and wait for a dollar house then con someone else into paying for the ticket. I'd still want money back.

After this, I'll just skip the next effort, thank you very much. There MUST be a macramé class somewhere I can take instead.

To think I could have seen X-Men instead and Hugh Jackman with his shirt OFF, but nooo-oo--oooo. I had to see THIS loser! I don't even like Keanu Reeves!

*&$%$(%)@#%^&$@$#@$^^)*! [Walks away muttering.]

P.N. Elrod
The Adventures of Myhr

Click here to learn more about P.N. Elrod and her series: the Vampire Files, Jonathan Barrett and the Richard Dun series (with Nigel Bennett).

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Click here to read Lynn I. Miller's review of The Matrix Reloaded.

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